TNA Kevin Nash blogging from the hospital

tnamaximumimpact.jpegKevin Nash has been killing time in the hospital watching CSI: Miami, eating food he ‘wouldn’t feed to a dog’ and according to Nash, generally being a sulky, sarcastic “Big Grouchy.” Nash has been in the hospital for the last few days being treated for a sever infection in his left elbow. And somehow, inbetween all the fun, Nash managed to blog a little on his situation for tnawrestling.com.

Greetings from Charlotte, still.

I know I’ve only been in the airport, hotel and hospital since I’ve been here after arriving late Saturday afternoon, but I’ve run into some very nice people. The hospital staff is very nice, and one young brunette nurse is really a looker. Kinda tall Megan Fox-looking.

I have some sort of infection in my right elbow; the culture has not come back yet. The doctors have been treating it as MRSA. For those of you who do not know, MRSA is an antibiotic-resistant infection. A mutated superbug. Lucky me. Oh, by the way, did I tell you that I was operated on Monday afternoon. That’s surgery No. 27. After being cut on that many times, sometimes you forget, even if it was just Monday when I was operated on. (Editor’s note: Nash’s arm was cut open to drain blood due to massive swelling).

Don’t know when this will heal, depends on how my body reacts to the antibiotics. I have a gaping, open wound in my elbow, with the equivalent of a small ShopVac hooked up to it. I’m sure I’m paying 2-bills to rent that bad boy. When I go home, I’ll hook up the Black & Decker, and save the insurance company some money.

Hated missing the Pay-Per-View because I felt like the Mafia was just starting to get some momentum. But my left arm is OK, so I should be able to whack somebody at the next iMPACT events in Orlando.

Heard Kurt and Jeff had a great match; I look forward to watching that. I would like to continue on with this blog, but American Idol is upcoming. Can’t miss. I’ll blog more this week.

Nash …“The MRSA Man”

Oh MRSA, MRSA me … things ain’t like they used to be.

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UPDATE FROM NASH ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT:

Well the good news is: I’m getting the hell out of here. I’ve got the blueprints to the hospital, and I’m planning to break out on Thursday.

It’s been a long time since I’ve gone into full-on “Big Grouchy” mode. It never fails. They couldn’t get me out of here fast enough.

They had to put an actual “Danger: Sarcasm” sign on my door.

The only thing holding me up from leaving is the portable Wound-Vac, which I should receive tonight.

If you’re wondering what I did today … I watched about 75 episodes of CSI: Miami on A&E and some other syndicated garbage, ate food that I wouldn’t feed my dog and wondered why we didn’t have SpikeTV at the hospital.

If my math is correct, I’m now at Day 3 of not having soap OR water hit my body. My room has the pleasant smell of Axe bodyspray and ass.

The funk and the sarcasm is an incredible keep-out barrier because I think the nursing staff draws straws to see who MUST go in.

Just to think, I could be sitting in Dublin, having a beer with Kurt.

I guess the thing I’m most upset about is missing the European Tour. My family had already been conditioned for the fact that I was gonna be away from home for most of the month. And I was truly looking forward to wrestling for the fans in Europe. As always, there’s always next time.

To those of you who have somehow gotten my phone number and called me, thank you for waking me up. I’ve never understood the fascination of someone saying, “Hello,” and then someone hanging up.

At this point, I’ve re-gained my life, will soon be leaving the great state of North Carolina and back on the beach with my family.

If anything changes, I’ll update.

Idol Day 2 is soon. Take care,

Dr. Funkenstein, aka, Kevin Nash

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No, that’s not a cold brewsky.

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