Jake the Snake posts on Monday’s RAW

jakesnake.jpegWrestling Legend Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts has been posting his reviews on WWE RAW on his MySpace account. After a small break, Jake is back and lucky us! Here’s an excerpt from his review of this Monday’s RAW, on the CM versus Randy Orton match.

CM vs Randy Orton

Before I get to this last match, I just want to know who the agent was previously employed that got fired after the Regal/Hardy abortion? DAMN! Sorry Ron, or Mr. Simmons, but now I know where you got your inspiration, because DAMN says it all.

Okay, I’m out of the bathroom, now let’s go for this last one.

Lumberjack rules. Lumberjack match is set up due to the need to keep normally the heel, in the ring to face his just rewards. Yes, Randy did a horrible thing to CM. But in this instance they did it to plant seeds for future confrontations, angles and a way out of this match. Normally what would happen as the heel would try to pull a Cody Rhodes and his chickenshit and run. And heels being heels would also try to obtain advantage over babyface by getting outside help. This started differently.

Orton fires CM out and when we all thought CM would be jumped by heels, he escaped and got back into the ring. AH HA!! A babyface is being created. Again creating impossible odds and having him survive. Good job, Randy, good idea. That smells of Steamboat or your Father. Or you’re learning. From there, the babyfaces’s screw it up. As you take your first trip out, and cheap shot Jamie Noble (which is impossible to do because no one cares). Hell, all of America hates Jamie Noble. You’re not a big man Jamie, nor do you have a great repertoire. What you do have more than likely is a 40×70 singlewide. And the tires are better on it, than on your car … Oops! Meant truck.

But for babyfaces to attack Orton and get all the cheap shots before the heels initiate, is just stupid. Who are the good guys? Who are the bad guys? I know who the man was, Randy, tag, you’re it. Watched you call the match and was impressed. Folks that is what a great worker does. Your Father and your Grandfather could have a great match with a
broom. Great workers have great matches even with decks stacked against them. Many can do a thousand moves but few in the right order. Watch your talking in the ring, though. But maybe that has to do with the inability to listen by others. Randy you sold perfectly and it was different. Seems you have finally found a style your comfortable with. Just hope that you have the same tenacity as stick to what you want to do. I was very impressed. It was a pretty damned good match and what was best about it, was the moves and countermoves and the pulling out the fire just in time, life saving counters. Randy, blocking his kick, okay, I get that. Simply because I was in the ring (not working with ) Kevin VonErich. and I don’t give a shit what kind of sauce or spices you put on a foot, they still don’t taste good. Seen you get one earlier but still you’re not a pretty boy.

I truly hope what I saw tonight wasn’t a freak. What I feel has happened in the past, you were being asked to follow someone else’s lead. Hopefully this is a sign of things to come. At least they got the finish almost right, and Regal, you should kiss someone’s ass for this, because you distracting CM reduced the garbage I had seen before. Good finish, and a pretty darned good wrestling match. I’m sure the ref got his ass chewed, and he should have, and Batista too, because if the ref is in the way when its time for your thing, take that SOB out too. Orton going for kick and having to pause was wrong. And Randy, it wasn’t Batista’s fault, and it wasn’t the ref’s fault. If they aren’t there when they should be then you simply kick the SOB in the head again. Because that one wrong move took 50% of the hard work and toss it in the trash can. It’s that simple folks, it’s the little things. And the little holes that burst the dam.

It’s true the WWE these days–they end the show with 20 guys doing their highspots. Can I ask you a question? Whatever happened to anticipation? Whatever happened to mystery? And whatever happened to the unknown? And the biggest of all, and I know you guys don’t believe in it, whatever happened to leaving heat on a heel? You want people to buy tickets? Then create something that people want and make them pay for it on the PPV. But you guys create 10 minutes of heat in a show, and 30 minutes of killing it. If you tried this, maybe you wouldn’t need this shove it down your throat til you buy it, method.

Entice, tease, encourage and anticipate on your TV shows then satisfy on your PPV’s. Why in the hell should anyone buy a PPV? When you kick everything in the nuts and piss on it before you ever get there.

Good to talk to you folks again.
Jake

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